


I won't be lost anymore.

by hikyoublue



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Comfort, Gen, Platonic Relationships, These Two Are So Good And Just End Me?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-15 19:51:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7236142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hikyoublue/pseuds/hikyoublue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes those harsh feelings inside are hard to bear alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I won't be lost anymore.

That day felt like it dragged on for an eternity, longer than he’d ever experienced.

  
He wondered _why_ , but in the back of his mind he knew exactly what the reason was, and yet he refused to admit it, lest he lose the composure he’d worked hard to keep strong all this time.

A stack of papers are shuffled into a neat stack, and Kiyoteru tries to keep his mind focused on them as though something that _simple_ will truly distract him. His students had all left for the day, his classroom was empty, and the distraction of the papers worked better than he thought, considering he didn’t notice the mop of blue hair slowly slinking into the room towards his desk.

Even after a minute has passed, he _still_ doesn’t notice, and it’s only when a voice breaks his thought process—

“Oh, is _that_ what you’ve been doing?”

—does he notice. His fingers form a death grip upon the stack of papers, and if it weren’t for that, they would’ve gone flying everywhere across his desk, considering how Kiyoteru’s body had jolted as a surprised reflex.

A startled sort of noise (it’s really him clearing his throat, but he can’t hide his surprise) escapes his mouth, and he adjusts his glasses back to where they belonged after they’d slipped during his movement, and finally turns his head to see the smiling, all so cheerful figure of Kaito standing there, arms clasped behind his back as he rocks back and forth upon his heels, a smile spreading across his features.

The sight of the other male causes him to relax, after his temporary moment of panic, and Kiyoteru quickly puts on a smile of his own to avoid causing any sort of worry from the one he happened to consider his best friend.

“Kaito,” He tries to sound like he’s going to scold him, but it’s hard, knowing how Kaito never had any harmful intentions in mind, “you shouldn’t sneak up on someone like that. What would you do if you startled somebody so badly they got hurt?”

“I wouldn’t do _that_ ,” Kaito insists, as his smile changes into that of a playful pout, “honest! I don’t want anyone to get hurt. And besides, you and I, even if we get super scared we’ll be fine, right? It’s not like robots can have those weird body problems humans do!”

Kiyoteru rolls his eyes at the response, a chuckle escaping him—a _genuine_ one—at the thought. Of course; the two of them were androids, made to look and act as human as possible, but even if they were like that, it didn’t change the fact that they functioned differently on the inside.

  
It was fine, though—perhaps they were better off not knowing some of the troubles that humans faced in that sense. That wasn’t the point here, though, and he shrugs the thought off with a simple slump of the shoulders before he straightens himself out again, moving to place the papers in his briefcase while he spoke.

  
“You and I, yes, but if you did that to anyone else it might not go as smoothly,” He states, mater-of-factly, as his briefcase clicks and his gaze shifts back to the scarf-clad other before him. “Just be a little bit more careful, alright? No harm in that, is there?”

  
Kaito’s response is a soft humming noise, something Kiyoteru can only assume is an affirmative answer, but that’s fine, he supposes. Perhaps moving off the subject would be best.

  
“What brings you here today, anyways?” He places his briefcase on the desk as he asks, quirking a brow at Kaito in a questioning expression, “You normally don’t come inside when you want to see me. You just wait outside the building for me. What’s going on?”

  
“You were taking too long!” Comes the response, “Normally you don’t take this long to come outside, you know? I got worried and decided to come on in. I don’t think anyone minded, I was careful, and even if they did, it’s not like I’m _harming_ anyone by coming to see you.”

  
For a moment, Kiyoteru is silent—he didn’t realize he’d taken so long, and while he wanted to scold Kaito for doing something that could’ve gotten him in trouble, his mind was more focused on the fact that he’d been even acting out of the usual, letting the thoughts plaguing his mind get to him.

  
And he felt them—creeping up further in his mind, trying to take over as though they wanted to devour him whole—but he shook his shoulders once more, as if that’d shoo them away, before he looks back to Kaito with a (forced) smile forming on his lips.

“You shouldn’t worry so much,” Kiyoteru tells him, lightly drumming against the briefcase with his fingertips, “worry isn’t good for you. And it doesn’t suit you, either, I think.”

“I don’t think worry suits _anyone_ ,” Kaito states, a little bit of a laugh escaping him, and that simple comment makes Kiyoteru briefly wonder if he’d been caught hiding his feelings, but Kaito keeps on going, making it hard to believe he’d caught on to such a thing. “It’s not a fun emotion to feel, right? Nobody really likes to worry! But it’s alright, I’d rather worry about you than let something bad happen.”

Before Kiyoteru can get a word in edgewise, Kaito grabs ahold of both his hands, holding them in his own and looking to his taller companion with a soft smile. That in itself is _almost_ enough to make Kiyoteru lose his composure, to let the thoughts he’d been trying to push back escape him and to simply let loose on his emotions.

“We’re best friends. I can’t help it if I worry about you, anyways! I want to see you happy and smiling, not sad and in trouble, so I’ll worry to the ends of the Earth and back if it helps anything.”

“Kaito…” Kiyoteru’s voice comes out softly, eyes widening at the gesture, and all of a sudden he feels a familiar mechanism pricking at him behind his eyes. One he’d like to _avoid_ , if possible, and he shifts his gaze away from the other android’s face in an attempt to keep himself from breaking loose. He wants to speak, wants to offer a response, but finds words escaping him, and all he can really do is open and close his mouth a couple times as his response.

  
That, of course, doesn’t go past notice, and the smile upon Kaito’s face quickly fades into a more concerned expression as he gently leans his head to the side.

  
“Kiyoteru? What’s wrong?” He asks, and Kiyoteru feels a sudden sweeping _guilt_ come over him at the overly-present sound of worry in his friend’s voice.  
Worry that he’d rather avoid, worry that he never wanted to cause, worry that Kaito didn’t deserve to feel, because he was so good and innocent and—and…

  
He can’t help it, now. The thoughts are overtaking him, seizing his mind, and all of a sudden he feels that familiar wetness slowly streaming down his face. Kiyoteru lowers his head, trying both to hide his tears and keep the concerned expression he _knows_ is present out of his line of sight.

  
“H—Hey, Kiyoteru? What’s the matter, why are you crying? Did I say something wrong?”

  
“…How do you do it?”

“Huh?”

  
He refuses to look up, refuses to meet the gaze he knows is fixated upon him, and Kiyoteru’s voice comes out quietly, barely above a whisper.

  
“How do you manage to stay so positive all the time when everything is so _hard_?”

It can’t be helped, now. The words start to flow, like a waterfall streaming out of his mouth, and he feels himself quivering underneath the grip on his hands.

“You know what it feels like, too. To not be good enough, to feel like nothing you do is satisfactory, so how? How do you keep that smile on all the time? How do you sit there and—and keep everyone smiling, make everyone happy like nothing bad has ever happened? What’s your secret? I can’t—I can’t do it like you can. I try to keep a smile on, and try to make it seem like nothing’s wrong but eventually something snaps and everything goes haywire. But you… you’re always smiling, always taking care of everyone, and you’re kind and you have the warmest smile, and you just… light up every room you’re in. And I want to be like that, too, but I don’t know how, and every day I wind up thinking and worrying that I’m not good enough, and what if I never _will_ be, and I—“

“Kiyoteru.”

Kaito’s voice cuts him off, and he stops, mid-sentence as that soft yet firm voice speaks his name. He feels a squeeze from the pair of hands wrapped around his own, and slowly, he brings his gaze up to meet the other’s.

There’s still a smile on his face. Kiyoteru can see it clear as day, even through those tears, and he feels what can only be described as a stinging sensation in his chest at the sight.

“You _are_ good enough,” Kaito states, and he takes a step forward, bringing the two of them closer together. “Whether you believe it or not. I know it’s hard. I know what it feels like, since I had the same situation once upon a time. But I… I started thinking that maybe, just maybe, I could prove myself wrong. I could show myself that I _am_ good enough, that I could fight back, and be a better existence and enjoy life and smile more. And it was—hard. It still is hard, I mean… even though I look like nothing’s wrong most of the time, I still get the same feelings you do. It hurts a lot. But we just… we just have to keep on trying our best, okay? And be there for each other. You can tell me about this sort of thing, whenever you’re feeling hurt like this, and I’ll run over to you and help you and bring a smile to you, okay? That’s what I’m here for. We’re best friends, and I’ll _always_ be here to take care of you.”

Another step forward, and before Kiyoteru knows it Kaito’s arms are around him in an embrace, and he can’t stop the tears from flowing out further. His own shaking arms, after a moment’s pause in surprise, wrap around the other android to complete the embrace, and he feels a hand rubbing against his back in a sort of comforting gesture.

“Whenever you need me, I’ll be here, okay? That’s my promise, and I’ll keep it forever, or my name isn’t Kaito.”

Kiyoteru wants to say something, wants to offer a response, but the only thing that comes out is a hoarse noise, as he presses his face against the mop of blue hair belonging to his companion.

“Y-You’re… you’re too good to me sometimes, you know this?” He finally mutters, after a few minutes of standing in silence, letting Kaito’s comforting words and gestures ease him into a calmer state of mind.

“I’m not too good,” Kaito responds, uttering a soft laugh, “I’m just good enough. You deserve a lot of good things, after all. You’re a good… well, android. I believe in you. Things are hard, but you can make it, and you’ll do great things one day. I just know it.”

He pulls away from the hug, and for a moment Kiyoteru is tempted to pull him back in, to refuse to let go, but he—smiles, instead. A real, genuine and broad smile upon his features that’s returned with one even brighter from Kaito, one that’s as bright as the midday’s sunlight.

He feels, he thinks, that somehow he got lucky here. Somehow he was gifted with someone who would support him and understand him and always be there for him, even if he felt like he might not deserve it.

…It felt _good_ , though. To have someone like this by his side. And he…

“Thank you, Kaito,” Kiyoteru mutters softly, removing his glasses with one hand and wiping at his tear-stained face with the other. “You’re really… the greatest best friend somebody could ever ask for. You know?”

Kaito smiles, as Kiyoteru places his glasses back on his face, and offers a hand out to him.

“You don’t have to thank me for that. I just want to be there for you. And now… I just want to take you to go get some ice cream. I think you deserve something sweet and tasty, don’t you?”

“…It’s _always_ the ice cream with you, isn’t it?” Kiyoteru can’t help but laugh, one hand taking the hand Kaito offers to him as the other grabs hold of his briefcase. “But alright, we can go for ice cream. I’m guessing that’s what you were waiting for in the first place, anyways.

It’ll be my treat.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! I hope you enjoyed this; I really enjoy any kind of relationship between these two, but them being extremely supportive best friends ends me and I scream at my own rear end with the force of a thousand suns.
> 
> Anyways, this is my first work here, so! Thank you for reading this!


End file.
